What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

thumb_up thumb_down -18

It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

thumb_up thumb_down -22

roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Hej Erik och Leo!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops