ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

Why dont blind people go skydiving? Because they dont live when they hit the ground

Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

Why do dogs bark? Idk why? Cause there dogs

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

What do you call 10 old black people in a barn? Used farm equipment

What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

On christmas, a bunch of happy kids get machine guns for christmas.Meanwhile in afghanistan, a bunch of dissapointed kids are getting ice skates.

Solvemedia fun: It says happy trails, a good one. Then it says Your answer below. ANSWER TO WHAT? To happy trails? Is that even a question? Is this world gonna explode? Is Santa real? Will Jesus ever return? I This and much more in the next exciting episode of Dragon NutZ SEE!

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

what did the women say when she saw a tiger maul a rabbit? she didn't see it, she was in the kitchen cooking and ironing

a man dyslexic into bar walks a

Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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