What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's clear and looks like water? Water.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops