What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops