What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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knock knock come in

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How many light bulbs? 1

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops