- Anti Joke

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed