Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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A car with three black people in it is driven off a cliff and everyone dies. Why is this a tragedy? Because it is always a tragedy when human life is lost.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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12 in general

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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Tony Romo

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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