What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? A:blue

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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What do you do when you find a black guy bleeding on your porch? You should call an ambulance! This man is hurt!

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What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

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Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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