Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Read a Book.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -31

My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops