A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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ERROR 3045: This joke has gone bankrupt and Is laying in the hospital//:: THE CAUSE: OBAMA CARE

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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. . I am a whale

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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