A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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A Christian asks god why there is so much pain and grief in the world. God does not exist.

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A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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cool

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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