A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Jesus Christ

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops