What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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haha black people :D

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Rylan Clark

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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