Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops