Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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well use a tissue!

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Knock, Knock Knock, Knock who? Knock, Knock

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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