What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

thumb_up thumb_down -13

roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops