Q: What happened to the monkey when he jumped off the tree. A: He died Q: Why did the second monkey jump off of the tree A: He was attatched to the first monkey Q: Why did the third monkey jump off the tree A: Peer Pressure

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

thumb_up thumb_down

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

thumb_up thumb_down

A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

thumb_up thumb_down

So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down

[Insert anti-joke here]

thumb_up thumb_down

What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

thumb_up thumb_down

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

thumb_up thumb_down

What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops