whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

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What do you say to Jews at a synagogue? Hitler is coming

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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