Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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