There was once a man who lived in a box.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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