why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops