How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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have safe sex

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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A women in the kitchen.

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What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

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Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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