what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops