Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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You know what's funny? Rape

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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