Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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the lemon was sweet.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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