Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? To End His Suffering On The Farm. Suicidal Mission.... Complete

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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