Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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ever tried african food? they neither

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

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I'm rick james bitch

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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