Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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