A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

bite me

Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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