Andoni was here

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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A Chinese man fails a math test

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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