Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Why did the blind boy cross the road? Why? The world may never know. He was hit by a bus

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What has three legs, 6 notches, 8 wheels, is beige, has cancer, and is severely burnt? I don't know.

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Kncok Whose there? Not Sally

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(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

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911 jokes are just plane wrong

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A man walks into a bar, ouch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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