Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops