Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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