Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops