I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

What is stupid and looks like you? You.

What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car, who's driving? Their father Micheal, he adopted both of them from a mentally handicapped orphanage when they were five.

What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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