How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

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A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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Faithful men.

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What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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