Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

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Lets just say, that I can tell anyone that my brother is one of the top leaders for Interpol (here in the nation we reside in) and that while I do not have the required education to work for interpol, I have connections with them, which allows me to work, well... Yeah, Central.

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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A sober Irish individual.

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops