How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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miha kako si?

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Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops