What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

this is not a drill.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops