If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If you have a stroke, call 000

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -12

It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops