What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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a young boy once lost his mind and then his parents weeped because their son had been decapatated in a horrible motorcycle accident caused by a drunk who had just killed his wife and children and was running from the cops....

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops