Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Cripples are lame.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

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Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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What is similar between a penguin and a newspaper? If you kill a penguin, then grind it up into a fine powder, then the penguin becomes a newspaper.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops