Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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I asked her where you were.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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How did the little boy get lost? He didnt he got dragged into a van and was raped violently.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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