What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

Knock Knock! F*ck off

What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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