What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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Happy Monday!

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops