A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Hellen Keller went to town a ridin on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it.. ashhlerthurbujahustar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops