- Anti Joke

What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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