Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple??? You... Lol jk no there could be alot of things like getting raped, the holocaust, me killing your children i mean someone killing your children. Because if it was me you would know it was me and file a report and i would be arrested and be sent to jail. And in jail i would try my hardest to stay alive brcause if i died that would suck. I would also try not to drop the soap beacuse i might get rapped by some prisib mate, also the floors are quite dirty and that would guve me any type of bacteirial infection like the stupid yeats infection or maby the persob who takes it from me when i finnish would get aids cause it dropped on the floor and who knows were it was. Then he would die from aids and his wife and or kids would be sad and set up a funeral were a preist would stand in akward silence cause the guy murderd the preists father so he wouldnt be mean an ruin the funeral but he wouldnt say anything nice. But after the funeral the preist would go back home and smoke a cigarette because he has started an unhealthy habbit just like millions of people around the world. When will people learn that it kills you faster than cancer well some cancers are quite quick and painless like a head tumor. But most tumors are able to be saved because the doctors are smart these days coming from yale or havord universitys and what not. Most peopel want to take the easy way out by just working at kinkos or wallmart. Both jobs are shit wich is why im probably going to go there cause no one else will except me in there offices or departments. I think its the fact i look like a pedofile trying to kill babys but you know how life is short and difficult to control but you have one life why waste it. Stupid emo kids trying to cut emselfs and shoot themselfs so they dont have to deal with theirs or their partners periods because the other day coming back from mc donalds this guy almost hit me with his car and threw a cup at me for some strange reason but hey not my problem unless he was my first victim?...... Lol jk i have never killed anyone and im not that creapy... Awks POTATO!!!

Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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