Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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