roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

Dumb

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

Knock Knock! F*ck off

A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

Black people stink of shite!

This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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