What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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KNOCK KNOCK WHOSE THERE? AVOCADO AVOCADO WHO AVOCADO COLD THAT'S A RETARD JOKE HAHAHAHAHA GOOD 1

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

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binladin walks into the american seals

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Why was the black man very rich? Because he was a lawyer who worked hard and was able to provide himself with a steady income.

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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