Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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first

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

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What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

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Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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