What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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123 f*ck off

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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