Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

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Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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