Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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