What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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