What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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knock knock? come in

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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did u ever hear a bird joke "no" hawkword

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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