A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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