"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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Yo momma is so stupid that she walked off a cliff.

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

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What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops