what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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