What do you call a black man on the moon? A miracle

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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A grandma says come on twinkies and the teinkies say were terriosts from your lost hole

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Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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