a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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